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'Several situations later I sit and ask God: "Lord, it not enough now?"'

4 Min Read


How do we heal? How do we pick ourselves up once again and ask God for healing?

Dear Reader,

I’m writing to you amidst a difficult time in my life and could not think of a better time to speak about healing. If this is your first time reading the blogs here / if this is your first Purity Talks experience, then please be aware of the rawness that comes from everyone on the team.

So here goes. How do we heal? How do we pick ourselves up once again and ask God for healing? When everything is too much and you transition from trying to figure it out yourself to trying to invite God back into your heart because you can no longer deal with it alone. Whilst some find it easier to worship through difficult times in their life, others stray far from God’s word and presence and result in wallowing. Soaking in our pain and sitting comfortably in it, allowing it to consume us. I remember not too long ago, my Pastor preached a powerful sermon titled ‘But it hurts’ and he spoke about God’s purpose to strengthen us and grow us through difficult situations. At the time, when my life was calm and I was happier, I was clapping and nodding along. You know them typical finger clicking gestures that everyone does to show that the word has touched them? Yes- that! That was me. After every verse that the Pastor dived into, I said amen and did my usual ‘mmmhmmm’ to show my agreement. To confirm God’s faithfulness in my life and how He has indeed strengthened me. But I only came with that energy when things were going smoothly for me. Now, several situations later, I sit and ask God: ‘Lord, Father... is it not enough now? How strong do you need me to be? I’m tired Lord. I am tired.”

Some days have passed now, and I am in between feeling guilty for asking God such a question and maintaining my stance that really though God - how much more? I am realising that healing doesn’t just happen in one go- it happens in phases. I was naive to think that because I had confronted certain feelings before, they had all gone away. The things that I thought I had dealt with can sometimes be triggered back out of me and this can be done through people or circumstances. By this I mean that someone, for example, could trigger certain feelings or memories through something that they have said. It could be something so small but because it triggers an emotion that I may have felt a long time ago but thought I had forgotten about, it causes me to relive that past traumatic experience. My church does well to talk openly about mental health and I am blessed to have met people within the church that are trained in helping people to heal. Despite this I find myself wallowing.

I think the tough part about healing is forgiveness. Forgiving the situation. Forgiving the person that hurt you. Forgiving how people made you feel. Forgiving yourself!! And that’s the hardest. Self-forgiveness. We are so terribly hard on ourselves. I’ve allocated myself a time frame to be sad now. Once that time expires, I am going to love myself furiously and I hope you do too. Take yourselves out on a date. Pamper yourself. Have nights in with yourself. Read the word by yourself. Worship yourself. Make yourself a banging 10/10 Michelin star meal (lol!) And if that’s too big right now, then that’s fine. Scale it down. Take yourself out of bed today. Shower. Eat. Get through the necessities until you’re filled with life again. Just because it hurts now it doesn’t mean you won’t come out the other side.

Allow yourself to feel these things- but not for too long. Remind yourself that yes it hurts but God. But God is God over your life and He hears your cries. He hears your prayers and if you allow yourself to listen carefully enough, He stands with you throughout- never moving away from you. Continue to practice forgiveness and make sure to not wallow too long - or at all- if you can help it.

Make sure to speak to people! There’s nothing worse that wallowing alone because the mind is an expert at making situations appear worse than they are- and this isn’t to take anything away from your hurt.

I wish you good, healthy and progressive healing.

- D.D.

What are you healing from or what have you recently healed from? Let's talk about it... comment below, or our emails are always open for you []

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